My Two Sons

I've got two sons. One is 4 and half years old, one is four and a half months old. I think the baby ate more carrots tonight in his five spoons of baby food than his brother did from crudites with dinner, but it is what it is. Jackson is, not at all surprisingly, a wonderful big brother. He would love on Dylan all the time if we would allow it, but I'm afraid his exuberant love for his brother will end up in a squished and unhappy baby. They bumped heads once when Jackson was demonstrating his affection for Dylan and that did not go well. It turns out babies have no pain tolerance. He takes pride in helping out with little things like hanging up Dylan's towel after a bath, helping with his toys, trying to comfort him in the car when Dylan is not loving the ride home. I'm so proud of Jackson for being such a great big brother. I was never so nice to my brother as he is to his (sorry Eric). Dylan is a pretty easy baby. Jackson was too, but they are easy in different ways. Jackson used to spit up all the time (ALL THE TIME), but he was sleeping 9 hours a night pretty much the minute he turned 12 weeks old and 12 hours a night at five months old. We didn't have to sleep train him...he came scheduled right out of the gate and he let me know he was ready to sleep by simply not eating. I would wake up to feed him and poof, he was too sleepy to eat and that was the end of that particular feeding. He was as predictable as a watch. His baby brother rarely spits up. He cries just as often as Jackson did, which was almost never. He is bigger than Jackson was, but isn't as hard core of a sleeper at this point as his brother was. Jackson was a dependable and punctual and efficient eater. Dylan is mostly punctual and sometimes efficient. The difference is that I don't worry about how much or when or anything about Dylan when it comes to that stuff. He's a second child who has it easier. I'm a first child, but the first child of what people would call today "free range" parents. I wasn't allowed to play inside in the summer time most days. My mom expected us to be outside except for at lunch. I had to come in when the street lights came on. We were left to our own devices and with the exception of my brother destroying his feet by dragging them to stop his big wheel, and my knocking myself silly and scraping off my face by jumping my bike off railroad ties before 3rd grade, we made it largely unscathed. Point being, despite the fact that I was a generally good kid, it wasn't because my parents were on me constantly. Jackson doesn't have it so easy. We aren't helicopter parents, and he's too little to be turned totally loose free-range style in my opinion, so we're not quite that laid back. But first children are the ones that parents screw up on. We make mistakes with the first time around...and we will with number two as well, but with Jackson we learn as we go. We are lucky he is a great kid. Super smart, a real sweetie pie. He's laying the groundwork for his brother, and I hope that when they grow up Dylan is able to appreciate what his big brother has put up with from their mom and dad. I hope Jackson is able to forgive us for our shortcomings and I hope he knows that we are just trying to do the best we can, as we obviously know he is as well. I hope he knows we love him unconditionally...I remind him all the time, and he reminds me all the time that he feels the same way. Me and my boys....I don't know if I could imagine life any other way.

And We're Back

We are adding to the chaos. Lew Two is due in about 7 weeks and a day. Jackson is going to be a big brother to a little brother. When we told him I was prego he asked if it was a brother. We told him it might be a brother or a sister. Eight weeks later we found out for sure. Before I went to the doc we spent a lot of time explaining to him that it could go either way...that sisters are as fun as brothers...blah blah blah. His response? I know mommy, but it is a brother. He knew it all along.

As we get closer to d-day, start getting Chez Lew in order for Lew Two, Jackson senses some change is brewing. Most of the time he responds in positive ways...talking about how he's going to help and saying prayers for the little guy. He asks me every day if he can still sit on my lap, afraid my vast belly has run out of room for him. It hasn't. I always oblige and let him climb up for cuddles.

He's four, so actually communicating a fear of getting replaced or bumped from the top of the order is not going to happen. But I sense it from him. He understands things will change, but just like me and Jason, what that means and what it will look like we don't know yet. Here's what won't change. Jackson made me a mom. Arguably the biggest transformation a typical person goes through is going from person to mom or dad. And the person responsible for that change is the fantastic first-born (waves flag proudly). It was not a role I ever really knew I could do until I had to do it. And I love it, and my wee man makes me so happy and proud every day. I can't wait to see how he does as a big brother. I'm not so naive that I think it will be easy. But he's going to be great. You might be getting some company in this family, but you'll never, ever, be replaced. I love you buddy.

Blogging Failure

I'm a blogging failure. It's been 11 months since I last posted. 11! Jackson is already driving and applying to colleges! Okay, he's not. He is sort of riding a tricycle and can draw letters accidentally.

He is now 3. If you follow me on here, chances are you also are my Facebook friend and you are seeing him grow up on there. I wish I could do justice to how cute he is and how proud he makes us. He is a very compassionate little boy. He is as coordinated as his mother was (or is)...in that he trips and falls almost hourly. He's making observations about things that I can't believe he notices. He perpetually believes his birthday is this Monday. It's not. But it was on a Monday this year. I believe this is why he thinks that is always the case.

Jackson gets to attend sporting events all the time. Because A) Mommy gets tickets for free and B) Mommy and Daddy like going to sports. He doesn't care about the sport. He cares about the band at CU events and the fountains at the Rockies. We haven't branched out to the others yet as they are out of our budget, but I'm sure it will be about anything other than the games themselves when we do.

I have loads more cute stories to share, but I don't have time. But I'll be back sooner than 11 months....

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

This weekend Jason is hanging with his parents and I'm home with Jackson and several friends from college and we are going to run different versions of the Denver Rock and Roll Marathon.

The timing for his departure isn't great, as I got some sad news tonight. My parents' dog Buffy has cancer, and doesn't have real long to go. Buffy is a fantastic dog...wicked smart, super friendly, I can't even tell you how great she is with Jackson and has been since the first time he visited her when he was just about four weeks old.

So my dad emailed my brother and I to tell us the news, and I was home with Jackson waiting for friends to arrive. So we're sitting on Jason and I's bed watching Thomas or Kipper or something, and I'm crying a little because I'm sad (I freaking love that dog). And Jackson turns to me and says, "Mommy, no cryin." And I say, oh yeah sorry buddy, I'll get it together. So he stands up on the bed and puts his arms out and says, "Hug" and sort of throws his arms around me and it of course made me feel better. So I say, thank you honey, and he sits down and gets under the covers and says, "Fixed!"

I don't know what we're going to do when we take him to visit Grandma and Opa and Buffy isn't there and he asks for her. He won't understand anything, but when he walks in and the first thing he says is, "Where's Buffy," I think it will be a stomach punch for everyone. But at least Jackson will be there to fix it. Keep Buffy and my dad in your thoughts and send them good vibes as it will be a tough few days.

Long Time Gone

It's been awhile since I posted, and we've seen some really great things with the wee man. Yesterday he joined me and my parents and some friends for a race in Copper Mountain, and my parents got a long term look at how amazing his vocabulary is. He's been using lots of words for a long time, but now he speaks in complete sentences.

"Mommy got dirty in the mud," he informed his father today when he got up of my shenanigans at the Warrior Dash. It was awesome. He remembers how we spend our time, what things he learns and easily recalls all the details. He still calls strawberries "sabios" and as far as I'm concerned he can do it as long as he wants. It's adorable. He is a very sweet, very smart and very lovey little guy. He warms up to strangers pretty fast. His new favorite thing to play with is puzzles. "That goes right there" is a common phrase at puzzle time. Dora the Explorer is a favorite.

He's two years and three months old...almost four months. He hasn't shown much interest in the potty, but the last few days he wants to sit on it so we might jump on that bandwagon. The pull up pants are ready to roll if we think he wants to jump in.

Reflections of, the Way Life Used to Be

So we're approaching Jackson's second birthday in a couple of days. It's been an interesting couple of weeks as my friend Kami is at BCH on bed rest while she awaits the arrival of her twins hopefully not for five or so more weeks. So I visit when I can, and her room is just three doors down from where we had Jackson almost two years ago. So I've been experiencing some serious de ja vu.

I went back and looked at my blog entries from two years ago at this time and it's amazing to me how different life is now, and how remarkably funny I was back then (kidding). Jason and I will sometimes reflect on life before Jackson came along and how basically we did absolutely nothing. Sure, Jason finished the basement, we played some sports, went to work, etc. But honestly...we did nothing. We had to have. Because there's no way we were doing anything before this because now we have no time because we are parenting. Life was carefree.

Sure, we had to be careful about what I was eating and what we were doing but at the end of the day, we would go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning and the only people we had to worry about were each other. And since we were both grown ups, Jason could roll out of bed, get a shower, get dressed and go. I could get up and do the same, and we didn't have to synchronize our watches and discuss our plan of action. Now everything is a plan, everything is a conversation. No decisions are made without determining what the plan is with Jackson and how our decisions and plans affect what needs to happen with him. It's something that you can't really understand until you're doing it.

So there's all these new responsibilities that at times feel inconvenient and cumbersome, but then there's all these new experiences that light you up. This morning I was getting Jackson dressed after breakfast and I gave him a high five for doing a good job. So he hops down off my lap and dashes into the kitchen and says, "Daddy! Five!" That seems like such an insignificant little thing, but what Jason and I know is that Jackson is now using our names to get our attention to do things that he would like to do. Daddy, befast (that's breakfast for those of you who don't speak Jacksonese). Mommy, bath. Mommy, out (of crib please). Daddy, sit down! Before it was all grunts and one word stuff, and now, it's Mommy, more meat please. Kids are cool.

Run Around

Last week Jackson really started to put things together and speak in concepts. As opposed to just up, all done, mommy and daddy. I went in to get him out of his crib one morning and he goes, "Fan, fan. Run around, run around." and made a gesture with his arm and hand of something going around and around. He says things like more please as opposed to more or please. He can say Thank You Daddy instead of one or the other. It's very cool. He loves up and down. We went over a hill this morning and he goes DOWN!!!! Followed by a Mr. Miyagi impression of paint the fence (up....down....up.....down). He knows that the green light means go. It's very neat to watch him put these things together for himself.

Heartbreaker

I mean this is in the most heartfelt way. The first time I took Jackson to day care in August of 2008, I sobbed. I sobbed pretty much the whole first week, and then gradually became okay with it as I felt like he did.

Today I took him to school, and he didn't want to go. He didn't want to get out of the car. He didn't want me to put him down. He didn't want to let go of my leg. He didn't want me to put him down again. When I left, I handed him to one of his teachers, Miss Patty.

Big fat tears started to roll down his cheeks and his face got red, but he didn't do the demonstrative, screaming crying. He just quietly cried and was clearly sad to see me go. It totally and completely broke my heart and it felt like August 2008 all over again, only much worse.

Worst Blogger Ever

I'm the worst blogger ever. We have had so many exciting things with Jackson, and I completely suck and haven't documented jack (pun semi-intended). To try and fit in everything he's been doing in the past couple of months would be pointless, but I'll try a condensed version.

Physically: He jumps. He doesn't jump well, but he jumps. He's also scaled his way out of his crib one time, so we put up a gate at the top of the stairs. He hasn't tried it again thankfully so we haven't moved him to the big kid bed just yet. On occasion he will fling bowls at my head from the backseat. Which is impressive, but not that funny. He actually can throw balls pretty well and loves to play basketball on his little hoop and race his cars.

Chattiness: He amazes us with his new words each day. Today at school he said to me "run around" which was neato. He knows all his letters and loves to shout them out when he sees them on signs or magazines or whatever. He also will randomly start counting to four in the backseat of the car, which I find amazing. He has names for all his grandparents: Opa and Nama (My parents) and Papa and Nami (for Jason's Parents) as well as Bussy (Buffy the dog) and the occasional E for my brother and Auntie for his wife. We are working on learning Jason's sister and family as well. He is good at saying "I love (fill in the blank with a name)" and he also knows his teachers names at school. He, up until about two days ago, would say the word RED as Rhett and the letter W as ba ta doo. He has since learned the correct pronunciation. I would have been okay with him not learning that for awhile as I found batadoo to be adorable. He enjoys playing indoor golf with his Opa, which he will indicate by saying "Opa, golf, bussy" over and over again.

Decision-making: He is very insistent on making his own choices from time to time. He wants to draw. He wants to look at the birdies. he wants to play with the ball popper. He does NOT want to eat that banana. Wants to shoot, play basketball, race cars, go outside. I wouldn't call him stubborn just yet, but since both his parents are insane stubborn lunatics, it's not far off.

In any case, Jackson is simply a joy. He is at a tremendously fun age right now, amazing us with the things he knows and the things he can do each day. We are communicating with him more and more, he helps us decide things as a family and is a very nice, very loving little boy. He is your typical jump around, crash up, crazy little boy and loads of fun for his parents.

Jackson Is Chatty...Even in the Bath