Doctors Are Sadists Who Like to Play God and Watch Lesser People Scream.

Part of my enjoyment of Juno was obviously the inclusion of Allison Janney as Bren the stepmother. She was decidedly un-CJ of West Wing until the she uttered the line above. She may as well have been on the faux-West Wing set for that line.

Which brings me to the subject of today's sharing...drugs. People's new favorite question (since they know when it's due, they know it is in fact he, they know Little Man has a name, and really they are tired of asking me how I am feeling because they know that I will not sugarcoat my answer) is "So are you going to use drugs in delivery?"

Obviously for millions of years women have been doing this. And only in the last 30 or so has a way for childbirth to be relatively pain-free become available. So kudos to the millions of years of women, which includes my mother who informed me last night that forceps were required to pull my fat head from her lady business, who went ahead and did this anyways sans painkillers. Even more kudos to those who repeated the process again later.Honestly, I think this question is nonsense. Here's why.

Someone quite obviously saw a need to create a way for this experience to become decidedly less unpleasant. Much like the invention of local injections for root canals and other dental work, the creation of Advil and other medicine to make certain experiences, voluntary or otherwise, less unpleasant for the participants, the question is, why would you NOT take advantage? Seriously. I hear all the 1,000 arguments that are being presented to me by various women who are clearly better people than me in addition to Lamaze instructors, etc., but you know something?

So WHAT if that means I spend labor in bed? So WHAT if there is a thing stuck in my back? I DON'T CARE. If this process of squeezing a watermelon out of an opening that is basically the size of a lemon can be less excruciating, then BRING IT ON. In the words of Juno, "When do I get that spinal tap thing?" The answer to your question is yes. Bring on the spinal tap thing.