Reflections of the Way Life Used to Be

Believe it or not, I occasionally get requests for blog content. And I got one for a subject that I have totally not shared to date in this space...how was labor and delivery? I'm kind of surprised that I haven't ever written about it, but I've talked about it so many times that I guess I figured that subject had been covered but I was wrong.

So Labor and Delivery. It started for me at approximately 1:18 a.m. on May 2nd. I woke up in the guest room (between the snoring and my inability to fall asleep in a reasonable timeframe I slept in there a LOT the last trimester) with some crampage. I thought to myself...now that's a new feeling. I made a note of the time and laid there a bit. Then I felt it again 10 minutes later, then again seven minutes after that, then again five minutes after that. After the seven minute one, I took a peek at my Blackberry and started to keep track of the time. By 2:15 a.m. these strange cramps were every five minutes or so. So I waited an hour, they were still every five minutes, so then it was time to wake up Jason. That took a few minutes and once I did, I told him I just wanted to lay in our bed in our house just the two of us one last time before I called the doctor. So we did that for about 10 minutes, and then we called Dr. L of LLBWC and she told me to come and get checked out. So Jason took a shower, I changed clothes and we headed to BCH.

We got checked in, and I got checked for dilation. The Nurse called Dr. L and Dr. L told her that I could stay, so I was admitted at 6 a.m. Then the fun really began. I reached active labor, which is 4 cm, at about 7:30 a.m. and then requested the wonderful and amazing epidural. Amy the nurse and Dr. Mako "Yoda" Shimoda said feel free and I got it at 8 a.m., then proceeded to have a hypotensive episode (yay) which required more drugs, oxygen and Jason holding a barf bucket. I didn't barf, but when I wretched, my water broke (HA!). Then the waiting began.

Allie brought Jason some bagels and we watched Caddyshack (that would be Caddyshack on TV in the photo at right). Allie brought Jason some Wendy's and we were watching, ugh, A Very Brady Sequel. I got an epidural "boost" at 12 p.m., followed by another episode that required me to get on my hands and knees in bed (seriously) then by about 3:30 p.m, I had the sensation that Amy was asking me about that made me think that yeah, I was ready to start pushing.

Pushing is hard. Mainly because you don't really know what you are doing. It was also semi-entertaining when Amy said, okay Jason, come and grab a leg. We were not AT ALL prepared for a scenario in which Jason would be responsible for anything other than cutting the cord...let alone holding a LEG, but he was a total trooper and unfortunately had a total front row seat to the entire process. So I pushed for probably an hour, and then my dream team decided I needed to get back on oxygen, which was a bummer because I couldn't talk too clearly to Jason or anyone else really...it was just waiting for each contraction and then getting my push on. So then Dr. Yoda was like, "Oh one more big push and he'll be here." That was at like 5:10 p.m. (the clock was right in my sight line). At 5:30 I took off my mask when she said that for like the seventh time and said, "Okay you have said that seven times when will it be true?" Then she asked me for my hand, and she put it in the lady business and there was the top of Jackson's little head! It was an excellent motivation tactic. She also mentioned that an episiotomy would make it go easier...which wasn't really enough information for me to make an informed decision. Had she said, "Linds, you're gonna tear anyways, so how about an episiotomy?" I would have said yes, Dr. Yoda, cut me. But she didn't, so I didn't. Let me also say that the epidural at this point was doing absolutely nothing for the contractions. I didn't feel the hoohah tear, but I felt the contractions and in a word, they SUCKED. That's as G rated as I can keep it. It SUCKED in a really really horrible way.

Anyways, after the motivational touching of my son's head, I got down to business and gave it my best effort. In childbirth class, they said once the head was out, that we would probably have to stop pushing so they could then deliver the shoulders and then the little guy would squirt on out. Well Jackson's huge melon did the dirty work and there was no need to stop pushing...he just flew out once that melon was clear.

They put a blanket on my chest and then put this bright red screaming little nugget on the blanket and then covered him with another blanket and started rubbing all the junk around and off and in and what have you. I looked down, sobbing for two reasons: 1. It was over. The worst pain ever was over. 2. Holy crap there really was a baby in there! I told Jason it was a little version of him. And he took his little right hand and reached up and grabbed my sports bra and held on until they took him to be weighed and measured. It's a cool thing people. Very cool.

So I have come to this conclusion. People keep saying to me that I would forget what being pregnant was like and I would forget what labor and delivery were like and therefore would be inclined to do it again. I have said all along that I would not forget, and I won't. So my conclusion is this. People don't forget...they just choose to do it again anyways. I'm not saying that we've made that choice, not by a long shot. Jackson is only 4 weeks and six days old we haven't even begun to get this thing figured out. But if we do make the choice to do this again, it won't be because we forgot, it will be because we chose to do it in spite of everything. And I must say, I'm damn glad to not be pregnant anymore :)